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The Curbstomp Song, in screwdriver-free stereo for your Karaoke pleasure.
Please remember your audience. Theme may be offensive to weak stomachs and the thin-skinned.
lyrics
[For your Karaoke Pleasure]
Up in space their ships go 'boom!'
In a pyrotechnic doom
On the ground no hope is found
As they die in burning mounds
Lacking tech like fire and wheel
Going up against cold steel
Strategy? Well they just rush!
There's no fools that they can crush!
Their invasion's a meltdown
Ground to dust by unarmed clowns
All that's left, to wait and see
Whether they will fight or flee
There's no need for Kryptonite,
Silver cross, or stake, or light.
There's some fights that just ain't fair
But it's FUN to gawk and stare!
***
[Chorus: 2X]
When a fight is just plain wrong
We all sing the curbstomp song
People dying left and right
It's a slaughter, not a fight
Start a brawl that can't be won
See the boots eclipse the sun
Either swallow bitter truth
Or eat curb and lose a tooth
***
Ill equipped with laser guns
That explode when set 'stun'
Using armor made of rags
Nothing's left for body bags
With a weakness so painful
Quite annoying, and shameful
Kids with H2O Balloons
Oh so gaily MELT these goons
Their assault's a failure
Putting guns on super-tankers
Now just watch, and you will see
Battles that should NEVER be
Here they come, they're charging us
Why should we put up a fuss?
It's a war that won't last long
And why I sing-
THE CURBSTOMP SONG!
***
[Chorus 2 X]
***
[Stompy Banter]
"Oh oh! I know! A hundred berserkers in full plate mail against a roman phalanx!"
"No man, that's not a curbstomp."
"What about the Russian army armed with pistols against guys with sub-machine guns?"
"You're not thinking big enough, man. Try more extreme."
"Uh... A team of ninja versus a tentacle monster with a rocket launcher-"
"What the hell?! Go sit down before you hurt yourself."
"What about sending special forces in to take out an Orc(k) camp?" =p
"You're getting it now, keep it up."
"A vampire with a bad attitude and a particle cannon against Red Coats."
"That's a stomp if I ever heard it..."
"Oh! I know! A fleet of star cruisers with giant energy cannons taking on an infestation of zombies in a city!"
"Ground zero, man. I can taste the concrete."
"A vampire, a wizard, a battleship, a dragon-"
"-Against a monk, a settler, and a coal miner in a cattle wagon."
"OUCH!"
"Stompingly good. HIT IT!"
***
[CHORUS 2X]
***
So when a fight's a slaughter
Not any quarter given
Just sing along to the Curbstomp Song and ask yourself:
"Why can't we all just get along?"
***
[Finish out with CHORUS 4X]
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